Dancing on my own

Do you remember the time
When blossomed our love?
When you waited for me,
For a cup of tea?
 
Life has changed so much
We don’t have time
For when it was not ours, it still was,
Now it is yours or it is mine
 
I know you feel alone there
Like I do here
There isn’t anyone in sight
No one to hold at night
 
But do you know what loneliness looks like?
Do you really know?
 
No, it isn’t sitting alone,
or standing in the rain.
Come to me, and let me show you
What loneliness is, what is pain
 
See around and count
The people who love you
Even when you don’t give a thing
Acceptance, appreciation is all they have
 
I have seen myself growing in numbers
When mind is in amber
Happiness doesn’t feel good

Laugh doesn’t feel right
 
It is when one’s worth
Is just as they fulfil the expectation
When colors feels all dull
When smiles feel like frustration
 
when the song once I liked, is playing on the radio but I don’t recognize
when conversation is over in a minute, once which were prized
The heart that once was is now all grey,
Still beats for you, heavy now it weigh
 
You are a summer’s day for me, bright and lovely
Music in colors, and sight in song
My soul is now damaged
Don’t see it clearly, Dreams that once were, are all gone
 
I pick up the dust of our good times as I sit on the ground
I rub it in my hands and it still smells good
Only this time, I can taste it, feel it and embrace it too
Are you around? Would you sit with me and feel it’s sound?
 
I breathe into the memories’ bag and realize there is a lot
Of me, you, us and ours. Joys were simple, smiles were many
Lets un-complicate it, Lets find out the next path
May be this time we will find love and happiness, lets give it a shot.

The incarnadine love

Flowing like the waterfall, Innocent like the blooming flower, Pure like the first rain, there she was standing on the crossroad. A girl from small town, with high hopes and dreams so big. She moved places like a twig in the wind. She worked so hard to recreate the mien and magic of a city girl that the distance was only magnified.

Alone in this cruel world, she sought company. With no one in sight, she looked within.

“O City of clouds, can you tell?

O ocean of stars, can you take me to the place I seek?

Like the rain in the drought land,

like a child running after kite,

like a mirage in the desert,

of how a devotee seeks his god,

that’s how I seek you.”

Broken and hopeless, she had a crack in the soul. Little did she realize, the light that came in through it.

His saturnine spirit appealed to her, the comfort in his eyes, and the perfect glaze. For her, he was rustic delectation. She hugged him fiercely. They both were gadabout. Sailing through and drifting apart, touching each other’s lives like waves.

Her love for him was accepted with alacrity. Was she thrilled. What she didn’t know was how he was equivocating. Her assiduous love didn’t deter her even when his love for her was sinuous, winding and unwinding. But she needed more than diaphanous hope. An iota of effort from him could palliate her pain. The voices in her heart wanted to tell him how she felt.

Under the turbid water, was the tsunami of the unspoken words. But the words written on air disappeared as she walked on. The lambent look from him was better than the diamonds shining, better than the sunshine. The story now seemed to be fugacious for her, for he was perplexed.

It rained the whole night and she sat by the fire. The fetor of failing hopes was getting stronger.

When the sun shines on you

Do you see me as the light?

Or when the moon rises

Do you find me in the stars?

I see you every morning

In the wrinkles of my bedsheet

I see you every evening

As the teardrops on my pillow

There it was. The hopes rose again. Bifurcating the dreams from reality is difficult. He wasn’t around but she couldn’t just shrug off the feeling of immense love she realized she had for him

You and I

Tied with an incarnadine thread

You and I

With Blue under the Brown

Hurt so many times,

Became inured to moments of helplessness

You and I

We’re struggling in this broken world

Dawn after dusk, we await

Five minutes of summer in this freezing winter

Rays sneaking out of dark clouds

Like a leaf floating in the sea

We are two rain drops on the leaf

Falling on the ground where we’ll meet

The ground awaits us

For another life will sprout

Rock of ages

I stand in the stormy sea,

it sharpens me, shapes me, yet hurts me

For no one sails near me

yet I stand to offer thee,

a place to rest in this raging sea

Unaware of what I was and what I wanted

I struggled here too,

Waiting for someone to rescue me too

Now when I know my purpose of survival,

I stand here to keep you safe and hold you around

The wind is strong and the tide is high,

stay here my friend for a while

Leave me when you are homeward bound,

when the sea is gentle and still

I know you are scared and troubled

But troubled mind is the best muse

For in the unrest,

In the tempest of thoughts,

words flow unhindered too

It’s just the night, my friend

and it will be over soon

when the sun comes up,

you can leave me too

My eyes blazing with zeal when you find a way home

For I am stranded here for ages to come

This is my home,

This is where I belong

Before you leave,

tell me this

will you remember me,

will you come back to me sometime?

For I feel so alone here

when the water is gone and there is no one near,

I want waves to hit me one more time

For the chaos they create,

Make me feel alive once again

All I have to do is Dream!

This is where I belong

A place of my own

A world full of me

A place most known

Where the view changes

With every blink

Where the light shines

And the happiness it brings

I am in dark now

Waiting for the light to shine

For what I wished for

To come to life

My world that you have never seen

Where I keep dancing on my own

Don’t know where the road leads

Where I keep waiting for the dawn

I am all but dreams

Just you can make me real

Can you see me now? Can you tell?

If I got it all, or is there a lost dream still

Lost Stars....

For it needs no answer,

I write to you -

A gentle smile and voice so soothing

Like a morning dew

What I never said,

What words fail to portray

The ode is jumbled

The emotions are kept at bay

Here I am yet again trying

To phrase out what was unsaid,

To face the truth, tomorrow and

From the confrontation, I fled

How I yearn for few words from you

Of holding me when I am down

How I am protected and safe

When you are around

When there is nothing left to share,

When there is an end to my quest,

I will find my peace on a road that lead nowhere,

When this happens, shall I rest.

My heart will go on..

Standing on the sea shore,

Holding your hand

Listening the silence,

Thinking if this is what I want

The waves entangle,

As you put your arm around me

With my head on your shoulder,

I could hardly contain my glee

All these times, I talked to the moon

So you could hear me,

I danced with the rain

So you could see my pain

But right at the moment with you

We talked not with words but with meaningful silence, what we had

Was the best tete-a-tete..

I danced with the wind,

On music of waves, and the floor of stars

Till now I walked alone on crowded streets,

Waited for you come and hold my hand

But with you and me here,

I have the world with me in this no man’s land

The sea of love and affection is rolling in me, and in you too

I say it, for I may not get a chance to say it ever again

Your eyes talks to me and the words you speak are few

You confide in yourself and as always you restrain

Saying “You love me too”..

Wake me up when it's all over, When I am wiser and I am older..

I walk with closed eyes

stepping up and down

I see the sky

I see through it all

I smell the fragrance around

of the flowers, love and serenity

I sing along with the wind

and dance around the city

Standing on the edge of hill

I take one more step ahead

Just to fall like I did in love

and in life, I trade

Falling down, I reach the lea

where the birds talk to me

where my dreams are coming true

where I am blessed as lucky few

I fly with butterflies,and

as I lay on ground

the grass is my bed

and the sky is my sheet

I lie beside you,

your face against the sun

making it shine like a diamond

and as we lie there till the dawn

With the sparkle in your eyes

like the stars at the night

You hold me in your arms

with just love between us

Is it just the inchoate life

or have I reached the terminus

of the dreamland of my delitescent love

Who knows but just the welkin above

If I lay here, would lie with me and just forget the world?

On the window panes, the rain drops paint our story. The wind knocks on my door signals your advent. The thunder covers the distance between the sky and earth in a second, gives me no second thought that we will be far any long.

It’s already time, you should come now. Sitting alone on the old rocking chair, I hear the creeks it makes. As if with the time passing by, it is singing the sad song of lost hope. But the flicker of the flames at fireplace has a different story to tell. In the ashes, those flickers were mustering the courage for me.

It’s dark outside and these lightning bolts, the wind, the rain is saying something, I hear them all. But my heart refuses to listen to them and the wait gets longer.

You won’t leave, there was no goodbye! We didn't talk. You can’t just leave!

But somewhere in my heart I know, you left to never come back.

Now I get up and traipse towards my room as tomorrow will be just another day waiting for you, another hope, another despair, another sadness, for it all has you but there ain't another you. I will wait for the summer solstice  as it is the only thing I am left with..

Show me a garden that's bursting into life..

Things have been difficult,
Life has been sour
I never thought we would be friends,
or a little more

Signs of being with you,
I never got
As the time flew by,
I realized, it was you I sought

When you happened,
I knew its beautiful
Everything happened,
as the stars' rule

I was on my own before i met you,
though something was missing
You make me smile, i feel on a different ground,
you complete me when I am in the harbor of your arms

You are doubtful,
you are perplexed
But love will rise,
as it is pure and blessed

Someday..

Why no one seems to care
no one understands
Why do I have to hide the pain
Why do I have to pretend

Things that I want to share,
pain that is visible in just a stare
But this world is selfish and mean,
No body cares if it is shattering a dream

They laugh, they mock,
An ambush as they stare
The agony is not visible to them,
They would understand me, I don't know when

I cant see a light coming,
I don't see a way
Hopes never die
Happiness would smile at me one day

Somebody that I used to know..

Walking down the road, I wish if life was a simple ride
Led by Love, Peace and Pride
but this seems impossible
As man stumbles
to his own expectations, formulations

Love, as said, is not sacred anymore
my belief of it was a feeling so pure
People come and go, but it never changed my point of view
but there was a lot to come.. so much due

I was happy and content
Feeling a horizon that never ends
Then happened him
and happiness was on brim
Least I knew it was short lived
God shows mercy only on handpicked

'Its over' - It was easy for him to say
I couldn't stop loving him.. No matter
How much I wish.. how much I pray
Now all he does is talk about her
And I sit quietly pondering over
why it is me who didn't have a choice
I understand now.. how life plays dice

He has moved on.. so has life
Memories to me, it cuts like a knife
Love has a deeper meaning than one can think
Life changes in just a blink